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The Power of Gathering: 4 Reasons It's Essential for Your Best Life

kings of joy Dec 06, 2023

As I open the front door, laden with a picnic blanket, rice paper rolls and Luna the dog, I’m still in the thick of anxiety about the state of the house. Having spent the weekend launching our 7-year-old daughter’s new slime business, there’s a trail of glue bottles, sticker paper, dyes and glitter strewn all over the house. Every surface seems to be affected. 

I let the door close behind me, noticing that my bad mood comes with me. I wish it had stayed home. Only a few short hours later, I’m in Camperdown Memorial Park with the newest Kings of Joy Gold Stars celebrating their debut performance - I’m Too Sexy.

Sitting in a circle, we share our stories - the spaces following the success of the performance at Queers of Joy, experiencing belonging in community, drinking the Kool-aid after becoming a first-time Drag King and of course, our coming out stories.

Driving home, I feel restored. My bad mood has evaporated and I feel lighter. For the millionth time, I am reminded of the power of when we gather.

4 reasons gathering in community is good for you:

  1. It improves your mood by taking your attention away from whatever has been bugging you. As you engage with others, you step into someone else’s world and find relief.
  2. You get authentic conversations. As you move away from complaints about the traffic or superficial conversation about the weather you get to go deeper. As a result, you feel seen, heard and known.
  3. You expand your network and form lasting connections. It’s easy to feel isolated or disconnected. You create new connections and deepen bonds already formed. This experience of having a strong network of people rewards us way after an event has passed. It reaches out into our everyday lives and supports us.
  4. It’s fertile ground for creating inspiring plans with other people. Surrounded by a diverse and dynamic community, we can hatch new ideas, hear new insights and get inspired. Leave with a new future ahead of you.

That’s what happens when the Kings of Joy community gathers. That’s why, every couple of months, we hold a Palace party at our home in the Working Kind Collective. It’s a free social event for the community and our friends and loved ones. You’ll find kids, pets, partners, lovers and friends.

We bring food to share, we share stories, and relax. Hang out together. 

Later, there’s an open stage, an opportunity for anyone to get up and lip-sync to a song. The performance doesn’t have to be polished. It’s a chance to try out a new idea or simply practice lip-syncing!

When a community of like-minded individuals gathers, brought together through a shared interest or identity, powerful things happen. We experience belonging. Conversations happen that wouldn’t have happened anyway. New connections are formed. Current connections are deepened. And future visions and innovative plans are laid that leave us with a skip in our step.

Let’s take our one wild precious life and live each day fully.


Danica Lani

The King Coach

P.S. Wanna be a Drag King? Click here to join the waiting list for Kings of Joy

Hello handsome, 🌈 I'm Danica Lani, also known as The King Coach, here to empower you in your exploration of gender, sexuality, and performance. I have proudly mentored, choreographed, and produced 89 first-time Drag Kings since December 2020. Welcome to the joyous community of Kings of Joy, where we uplift and celebrate each other every step of the way! 🎉🤩 Let's embark on this Drag King journey together, embracing our true selves and cheering each other on! 🤗💖 #KingsOfJoy

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