Drag King Coach Danica Lani Named ACON Community Hero Finalist

The Power of Being Seen

I found out I’d been nominated as a Community Hero in the 2025 ACON Honour Awards while sitting in my inbox doing admin.

I wasn’t prepared.

I read the email and choked up. Tears ran down my face.

Because being a community builder tests you.

It tests your values. It tests your boundaries. And it can burn you out.

When lateral violence and online defamation from within the queer community was directed at me and people I love, it broke my heart. It honestly felt easier to deal with straight-up homophobia.

Kings of Joy is about to turn five years old. So the timing of this acknowledgment—being seen for everything I’ve poured into this community—landed right as we’re crossing that threshold.

And in that moment, it felt like the universe took a pause and whispered:

You’re allowed to be proud of what you’ve created.

You’re allowed to feel this.

This matters. Keep going.

Kings of Joy: A Spark That Became a Movement

Five years ago, I hadn’t found my place in Sydney.

I felt disconnected and isolated. My friends and family lived elsewhere.

When my spouse, Chris, suggested we create a group of all first-time Drag Kings to perform at their trans and gender-diverse variety night, Queers of Joy, I had no idea how this would transform my life—and grow into the very community I was seeking.

Having met in a Drag King crew, Chris and I knew the joy and unadulterated fun that Drag King performance in a group could bring. There’s camaraderie, there’s self-expression, and permission to be unleashed. And there’s safety in numbers.

Our Impact, By the Numbers

Since our very first debut in December 2020:

• 147 first-time Drag Kings have stepped onto stage
  
  
• 37 different group routines performed
  
  
• 2 major annual shows (Drag Kingdom), the largest ongoing Drag King event in the world
  
  
• 10% of all proceeds go to LGBTQ+ refugees fleeing Uganda at Block 13
  
  

Creating Safe, Joyful Spaces for Queer Masculinity

For two years, in partnership with Bambuddha Group, we had a home we called the Kings of Joy Palace.

We:

• Hosted Palace Parties with open lip sync stages
  
  
• Housed a Community Drag King Wardrobe
  
  
• Rehearsed together, shared meals, and built friendships
  
  

This year, we dove into theatre in a powerful collaboration with Werewolf Productions in a sold-out preview season of They Will Be Kings — a performance diving deep into joy, power, and gender through the lens of trans masc, non-binary, and lesbian Drag Kings.

We’ve supported Sydney’s Mardi Gras Drag King floats.

We’ve delivered care packages to Kings recovering from gender-affirming surgery.

Our community have hosted Hi-King hikes, Crafternoons, and held exhibitions at the Tap Gallery.

This is a community that uplifts. That cares.

Kings of Joy has become the place to explore gender expression through performance.

Not to fit in—but to belong. To play. To thrive.

Drag Kings Are Thriving

The Kings of Joy community is full of success stories:

• Jim Junkie won King of Kings with Heaps Gay, and went on to land an Artist Residency with Brand X. Their debut solo show Max Potential took us deep into gym life, self-worth, and queer resilience.
  
  
• Kaizer is tearing it up in NZ, expanding what’s possible for Drag King artistry across the Tasman.
  
  
• And then there’s Bob’s Bulges, who said:
  
  “As a side note, I presented my first client debrief today and while internally I was freaking out, I kept channelling Bob’s energy and reminded myself that if I can dance on stage in drag in front of 100 people, I can do a boring work meeting.”
  
  

This is what embodiment does. It gives us access to parts of ourselves that were waiting for permission.

What This Nomination Really Means

This nomination… it’s not just for me.

My mission is to empower LGBTQIA+ people to be 100% at home in our own skin.

Whether I’m coaching a couple in Queer Relating, co-facilitating Trans Leading with Chris, or on a Zoom call with queer Ugandan people who’ve fled their country and are starving — I do this work because I believe in it.

Exploring gender, sexuality, and self-expression shouldn’t isolate us.

It should connect us.

To ourselves. To each other. To community.

And if you don’t have that kind of community yet — you can create it.

This nomination is proof.

For the Ones Who’ve Never Felt Like They Belonged

Kings of Joy has always been about more than performance.

It’s about belonging.

It’s about that moment when someone sees a Drag King on stage and something cracks open inside.

Maybe they feel their heart say, “Yes. That. That’s me.”

Maybe they feel permission to be that bold, to be that unleashed, to take up space without apology.

It’s about breaking down the stories we’ve inherited about who we’re allowed to be.

It’s about letting our bodies take up space in ways they never could before.

We’re not polished.

We’re powerful.

We’re not perfect.

We’re real.

And we’re doing this together — one rehearsal, one group chat, one performance at a time.

Thank You

If you’ve ever:

• Performed
  
  
• Volunteered
  
  
• Mentored
  
  
• Helped someone draw on a moustache
  
  
• Brought food
  
  
• Cheered from the audience
  
  
• Or whispered to yourself, “Maybe I could be a King too…”
  
  

This nomination is for you.

I see you. I honour you.

You are part of this.

And to ACON — thank you. For recognising the kind of work that doesn’t always get spotlighted.

The work of joy.

Of embodiment.

Of grassroots transformation.

The kind of work that changes lives — without asking for applause.

We’re Just Getting Started

The Honour Awards will be held on Saturday 18 October at the Hyatt Regency as part of ACON’s Ruby Gala, celebrating 40 years of LGBTQ+ health and community leadership.

I’ll be there — with a table full of Kings — thinking of every single King who helped make this moment possible.

Here’s to five years of Kings of Joy.

And here’s to whatever magic we create next.

Xx

Danica Lani

The King Coach

About Danica Lani, The King Coach

Hey you 👋 I’m Danica Lani—also known as The King Coach. I’ve mentored 144 first-time Drag Kings since 2020, and I’m here to say: if you’re feeling the pull to explore gender through performance, you’re not alone—and you’re not too late.

Whether you’re new to this world or quietly dreaming of stepping into your masculine side on stage, there’s space for you here.

✨ Ready to name your King? Download Step Into Your King—a free guide to choosing your Drag King name.

💫 Want to see what’s possible? Explore Kings of Joy and discover the queer community bringing masculine expression to life with joy, power, and heart.

📸 Sarah Malone.