How Drag Kinging Helped Me Feel Hot Again (And How It Can Transform You Too)

I want to tell you a story—not just about me, but about what’s possible for you too.

Last week, I performed my solo piece Head and Heart as Dario di Bello at our Kings of Joy reunion showcase, Drag Kingdom. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. I’ve performed as a Drag King since 2011. But this one hit different.

You see, I’ve been managing chronic pain for over 15 years. Endometriosis has reshaped my body. On some days, it feels like my belly sticks out on one side in ways I didn’t consent to. And honestly? That’s been eroding my sense of hotness. My confidence. My sexiness. My power.

But something shifted on that stage.

Dario walked out in silk pyjama pants covered in red kisses, bed hair all messy, chest bound with painted-on nipples—fresh from a dream about his latest crush. Poor Dario. He can’t tell if it’s his head… or his heart. (Let’s be honest—it’s probably not either.)

It was cheeky. It was vulnerable. It was sexy.

And when I watched the video back, I didn’t cringe. I remembered my hotness. I saw it.

I want this kind of moment for you, too.

If you’ve ever felt stuck… unsure how to start a solo act… wondering if you have what it takes… this is for you.

Because performing as a Drag King isn’t just an artistic outlet—it can be a homecoming.

A way to reclaim parts of yourself you thought you’d lost.

A way to explore gender, joy, visibility, and desire—on your terms.

Maybe you’re like one of our Kings of Joy.

You’ve done Gold Stars. You know the thrill of performing with your Drag King crew.

But the idea of creating something solo? That can feel overwhelming.

Start anyway.

Start with a crush. A dream. A pair of ridiculous pyjama pants.

Let your persona hold something your everyday self doesn’t always get to.

Let your performance be a space to heal. To play. To reclaim.

Because you don’t have to be anyone but your full self, held by your Drag King, amplified on stage.

And who knows? You might just see your hotness again.

👑 Ready to create a solo moment that transforms something in you? Let’s chat about it.

I believe in your power,

Xx

Danica Lani

The King Coach

About Danica Lani, The King Coach

Hey you 👋 I’m Danica Lani—also known as The King Coach. I’ve mentored 147 first-time Drag Kings since 2020, and I’m here to say: if you’re feeling the pull to explore gender through performance, you’re not alone—and you’re not too late.

Whether you’re new to this world or quietly dreaming of stepping into your masculine side on stage, there’s space for you here.

✨ Ready to name your King? Download Step Into Your King—a free guide to choosing your Drag King name.

💫 Want to see what’s possible? Explore Kings of Joy and discover the queer community bringing masculine expression to life with joy, power, and heart.

📸 Sarah Malone.