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The four pillars of human magnetism

empowerment human magnetism somatic coach the four pillars Sep 21, 2021

Do you feel good in your body? Are you 100% at home in your skin? Do you feel connected – with yourself, with others, and with something bigger than yourself? Can you recognise the gift you are to the world? These are the four pillars to developing your human magnetism.

What is human magnetism? It includes how you experience life, the quality of your life and who and what you attract in life. No, it’s not based on the idea that if something bad happens to you it’s your fault. It is the idea that being happy, satisfied, appreciative, eager for more – in other words, being empowered, will allow you to enjoy life and expect great life experiences, simply because you are looking for them. Ever wanted a new car in a particular colour – and then suddenly you are seeing them everywhere? They were there before; you just weren’t tuned into seeing them.

Explore these four pillars and take note of where you could develop yourself in them. Perhaps you’ll notice some gaps in how you live your day-to-day life. Listen for what support you might need to add to your daily living. Tending to these four pillars will leave you empowered.

Pillar #1: Feel good in your body

Ever notice how little niggles in the body can distract you from being in the present moment or being available to others? When you don’t feel good in your body, it’s much harder to live a full and enriched life. We get this one body in this life. So, how to inhabit it?

The more you feel good in your body, the easier it is to be empowered in life. How do you feel good in your body? One way the body thrives is through movement. Unfortunately, where I live and several other places in the world, people in the West live in a sedentary world. We spend long hours on devices, sitting on couches or at desks. We just don’t move our bodies frequently enough and with enough variety.

This means that in order to move your body more, you will need extra scaffolding, seeing as that support is not built into how we typically do our day-to-day life. I’m the same as you. Left to my own devices, I will happily spend hours sitting at a desk. That support will need to include accountability to another where you show up because you said so and someone else is also expecting you to. It will need to not be left to chance, but scheduled into your calendar. Paying for a service will increase the likelihood of you showing up tenfold because there will be something at stake – your own dollars.

For those of us who deal with daily pain or other ailments or injuries, please know it’s not impossible to be empowered when you don’t feel good in your body – it just takes more focus, more effort, more concentration, more energy to get there. Be gentle with yourself.

Pillar #2: Be 100% at home in your own skin

When we move around in the world and we are not at home in our own skin, it’s noticeable. Noticeable by who? Other people around us, animals and the universe all clock where we’re at. Whether we know it or not, whether we say anything or not, how we are in our skin communicates.

Think about the abandoned domesticated dog, left to fend for itself or suffering at the hands of human neglect or abuse. It recoils into itself, is afraid or sometimes aggressive covering up fear; it is in self-protection mode. And understandably. Humans walk around in the same way. To make it simple, you could say we are either contracting or expanding. In other words, we are in a fear-based state or we are in a state of All is Well.

We maintain this state of equilibrium and peace when we are not seduced by the negative feelings, thoughts or emotions that are making noise internally. Rather, they can go on making noise without us paying too much attention to them. This is easier said than done. Start to notice – are you contracting or expanding?  Some days the noise will be louder than others. Be kind to yourself.


When we feel disconnected from others or from everyone around us, we fall into the trap of believing that we are an individual having a unique experience. While our experience might feel unique and we are viewing it from our unique point of view, it is unlikely that no one else on the planet has ever felt that way before.

The era of the Individual is the period of time in history that we currently live in. Prior to this period, humans did not live nor operate as individuals. They operated on the level of relationship and group, in the collective. Did this mean everyone felt like they belonged? No, people were still cast out of the group, however, the fundamental context in how people thought and behaved was from the collective. The concept of the Individual was born not that long ago. It has given rise to human rights, individual rights and a whole network of new conversations that didn’t exist in the previous paradigm. Neither paradigm is necessarily better than the other. They both have benefits and pitfalls. One of the pitfalls of the Individual era is that humans forget that we belong to the same human family. We forget that we are already connected. And just like a family, we have conflict, varied points of view and diversity.

Another pitfall is loneliness. This is a common experience when we live life feeling disconnected from others. This can give rise to behaviours such as those evident on social media – trolling behaviour is often an attempt at connection because the person feels disconnected from others. I believe human beings are fundamentally seeking the experience of connectedness and we don’t always have access to the real lived experience of it.

What if we are all already connected, from the same life force and we are here having a physical experience. When we die, what if we return to the same life force? Don’t believe what I say, check it out for yourself. Does this idea empower you? If we are all already connected and we remembered that, then perhaps we wouldn’t kill each other. Or be so condemning of others. Or stay so Judgy McJudgy. Be kind to each other.

Pillar #4: Be a gift to the world

Don’t wait to make a difference in the world or to be a contribution to someone else. You can do this in parallel with the other three pillars. Being a gift to the world is a state change in how you see the world and how you relate to yourself. Anything related to being a mistake, not belonging, feeling like you’re not supposed to be here or being ‘unloveable’ is the antithesis to being a gift to the world. Coming from a place of ego and entitlement is also a pitfall of this state change and is not the real deal.  When you authentically know yourself as a gift to the world, you realise that you can contribute now, exactly the way you are and exactly the way you’re not. You don’t have to fix or change yourself before you can make a difference.

Being a gift to the world is acknowledging and owning the unique contribution you are. You don’t have to be an expert in something but you can make a valuable contribution to the conversation. The world needs you. We need your unique perspective on life and the world. And there’s enough room in the world for everyone. Be brave.

Regularly tending to these four pillars will give you a framework to look from in how to be empowered through the body. They are not a place to get to - I’m still developing myself in all of these pillars and discovering more and more. So enjoy the ride. Enjoy the unfolding of things as you turn your focus to the four pillars of human magnetism and see what you see.

Let me know what you discover!




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