I’m Not a Performer (Or Am I?): The First Step Toward Becoming a Drag King

For the queer human who’s drawn to Drag Kinging—but still doesn’t think of themselves as a performer.

You’re not the only one asking this question.

“I love Drag Kings… but I’m not a performer.”

“I have no rhythm.”

“I get nervous even speaking in a group.”

“I’m terrified I’ll forget the choreography.”

Sound familiar?

If you’ve ever said (or thought) any of the above—this article is for you. You’re not alone, and you don’t need to be “a performer” to become a Drag King. Whatever that word has meant to you before, we’re going to shake it loose and give it back to you—on your terms.

Because performance, in the world of Kings of Joy, is not about perfection. It’s about expression.

What if performance isn’t what you thought?

Let’s reframe something right from the start:

Being a performer doesn’t mean you’re confident, outgoing, or polished. It means you’re willing to express something. To offer something. To step out of the everyday version of yourself and try on something a little bolder, bigger, or more you than you usually let the world see.

That’s it.

You don’t have to know how to dance. You don’t have to be funny. You don’t even have to speak a word as your Drag King persona (although you might be surprised how much fun it is).

You just have to be curious about who you become when you step into the light.

Real Kings. Real fears. Real transformation.

I want to share some stories with you. Not from seasoned pros—but from people like you. Kings who felt unsure, nervous, or downright panicked about performing… until they tried.

👑 Max’d Out

Before they ever stepped onto a stage, Max told me:

“I had long harboured a daydream to do drag. But I’m not a performer—certainly not a dancer—and I had no idea how that would ever happen.”

Max signed up with their partner, both of them with zero stage experience and a group performance looming just fI’ve weeks away. They said yes to the unknown. And what happened?

They found themselves onstage, lip syncing to a cheering crowd—and loving it.

“A lofty dream that would have been, if it weren’t for Danica’s energy, time, and somehow, her ability to turn the nerves of 4 new Kings into pure excitement.”

Max became Max’d Out—and what once felt out of reach became a lived reality. They trusted the process. And they trusted me. That trust turned into freedom. And joy.

“Practice was always a joy, and performing to a cheering crowd was unbelievable.”

You don’t need to be a dancer. You don’t need to be a natural performer. You just need a desire, a little curiosity, and a space where your nervousness gets held in community.

👑 Glen Twenty

Before joining Kings of Joy, Laura—who became Glen 20—had dreamed of being a Drag King, but thought it might be out of reach. She was held back by so many of the things that keep people like us on the sidelines:

“I hadn’t considered that it could actually happen—barriers included being scared about dancing on stage, not feeling like I was a person who could or should claim space like that, and having no idea how to learn to be a King or connect with other performers.”

And yet, Glen 20 showed up. Said yes. Gave it a go.

What she found wasn’t just choreography and stage lights—it was healing. It was connection. It was transformation.

“Danica made it feel not only safe but also like play.”

Through stepping into Drag Kinging, Glen 20 didn’t just try on a new persona. She opened a door into the masculine and feminine aspects of herself—and let both take up space.

“What a gift! And not only that, but I’ve gained a whole new community of Drag King friends who are similarly exploring.”

Performance became a playground, not a pressure cooker. And now Glen 20 is part of a legacy of joy, self-discovery, and queerness celebrated in full colour.

You already perform. Every day.

Have you ever:

• Walked into a room and put on a “braver” version of yourself?
  
  
• Told a story and watched someone lean in?
  
  
• Danced in your kitchen?
  
  
• Imagined being a larger than life version of yourself for a moment, just to see how it felt?
  
  

That’s performance.

The difference here is, you’re choosing the stage. You’re claiming your moment. And you’re doing it surrounded by Kings who’ll cheer you on louder than you’ve ever experienced before.

How to take your first step (without freezing)

You don’t need to jump on stage tomorrow. You just need to take the next right step for you. Here are some places to start:

1. Try lip syncing in the mirror.

Choose a song with masculine energy. Watch your mouth. Watch your eyes. Let your body move a little. Notice who shows up.

2. Pick a persona name.

What name would your boldest, flirtiest, cheekiest self go by? This isn’t forever—it’s just an experiment.

3. Come to a Kings of Joy workshop or show.

Even if you’re not ready to perform, being in the room will shift something. You’ll see people who once said, “I’m not a performer,” and now own the stage like they were born there.

You don’t have to perform alone.

Kings of Joy was built for you. For the person who’s felt constrained by gender. For the one who’s ready to take up space. For the one who’s scared and wants it. We celebrate every stuttered line, every wonky move, every bold first step.

You might not think of yourself as a performer right now.

But what if that’s exactly what makes you ready?

You’re not too quiet. You’re not too late. You’re not too anything.

The first step is often the scariest. But it’s also the one that opens the door.

Let yourself imagine it:

The lights. The music. The crowd. And you—not pretending to be someone else, but finally, fully, playing with who you really are.

Let’s take that step together. 👑

Xx

Danica Lani

The King Coach

Hello handsome, 🌈 I'm Danica Lani, also known as The King Coach. I'm here to empower you in your exploration of gender, sexuality, and performance. I have proudly mentored and choreographed 138 first-time Drag Kings since December 2020. Welcome to the joyous community of Kings of Joy, where we uplift and celebrate each other every step of the way! 🎉🤩 Let's embark on this Drag King journey together! 🤗💖 #KingsOfJoy

📸 Sarah Malone, Kings of Joy Gold Stars XXIV April 25