How to Get Better as a Drag King: Tips to Grow Your Performance and Confidence

So, you’ve done your debut Drag King performance— and maybe you’re thinking, “What’s next? How do I actually get better at this Drag King thing?”

I see you, handsome. You’re passionate, creative, and wildly curious. But I also know how easy it is to feel stuck after that first big moment on stage. You’ve had a taste of the magic, and now you want more — but the next steps can feel… complicated.

Here’s the truth: becoming a better Drag King isn’t about “getting it right.” It’s about getting messy, claiming your space, and showing up for your artistry. Let’s unpack the common blocks that hold Kings back and how to move through them.

Why Getting Better Feels Both Exciting and Overwhelming

Whether you started your Drag King journey with Kings of Joy or somewhere else entirely, one thing’s the same: those first steps often feel safer when you’re part of something bigger — a crew, a set routine, a coach, or even just the comfort of knowing you’re not doing it alone.

But now, you might be craving more. Maybe you’re dreaming about solo performances, creating your own routines, or stepping onto new stages beyond where you began. And with that comes a cocktail of excitement and fear:

• “What if I’m not good enough?”
  
  
• “What if I get it wrong?”
  
  
• “What if I don’t belong?” 

You’re not alone in this. Every Drag King I’ve ever coached — myself included — has wrestled with these same questions.

Common Blocks That Hold Drag Kings Back

1. Perfectionism

“I’ll start working on my next performance… once I have the perfect song, the perfect costume, and the perfect persona.”

Sound familiar? Perfectionism can feel like control, but really, it’s a trap. It keeps you stuck in endless planning and stops you from actually creating. 

Solution → Messy King Practice

Growth happens when you let yourself experiment without needing to “nail it” the first time. That’s where Messy King Practice comes in:

• Set aside 30 minutes a week to play in your persona.
  
  
• Try lip-syncing in the mirror to three random songs.
  
  
• Record yourself — not to critique, but to observe.
  

Give yourself permission to be scrappy, playful, and curious. Art isn’t born from perfection; it’s born from practice.

2. Worthiness 

“Who am I to take up space on that stage?”

“Someone else deserves this more than me.”

This one runs deep. Sometimes, we shrink ourselves to avoid outshining others or to avoid being “too much.”

Here’s what I want you to know: who are you not to shine?

Marianne Williamson said it best: “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.” 

Your artistry, your expression, and your joy give other people permission to do the same. That’s leadership. That’s impact.

Remember, Drag is inherently rebellious. By stepping on stage, you already defy every system that told you to stay small.

3. Fear of Rejection

For many queer, trans, and gender-diverse performers, visibility can feel risky. Within our own communities, the fear of lateral violence—being judged, excluded, or “cancelled”—can keep us small. This fear can run even deeper when our identities intersect with race, (dis)ability, class, or other lived experiences that shape how we’re seen and received.

Solution → Experiment with power

This one might feel edgy, but stay with me. Drag Kinging gives you permission to try on male privilege and healthy entitlement. What if, just for the stage, you moved through the world with the quiet confidence of someone who assumes they belong?

• Walk into a room as though you belong there.
  
  
• Email a venue about a solo spot like your artistry is valuable (because it is).
  
  
• Take up space—not as an apology, but as an experiment.
  

This isn’t about arrogance. It’s about inhabiting a truth: you belong here. 

4. Self-Doubt 

That little voice that whispers:

“I’m not talented enough.”

“I’m not creative enough.”

“I’m not ready.”

Here’s the thing: nobody feels ready. Drag isn’t about waiting until you “become” an artist — it’s about realising you already are one.

Every King you’ve admired started where you are now. The only difference between you and them is reps. More messy practice. More getting on stage. More creating, even when you feel unsure.

The Solution: Anchor in Belonging

Remember why you started. Remember the moment the crowd screamed for you at your debut performance. Remember the joy of watching other Kings shine. You’re part of something bigger now—a community, a lineage, a movement.

You don’t have to do this alone. You were never meant to.

As colourful author SARK says, go to the top of a hill, throw your arms wide open and declare, “I belong everywhere!”

Claiming Your Space as a Drag King

Becoming a better Drag King isn’t about waiting for permission. It’s about choosing yourself.

You belong on that stage. You belong in this community. You belong in the messy, joyful, unapologetic process of creating art that feels true to you.

Ready to Take Your Drag King Performance to the Next Level?

Your Drag King journey doesn’t end after your first performance — it’s just beginning. Whether you’re dreaming about creating your first solo routine, refining your persona, or stepping onto bigger stages, you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Book a free discovery call with me, and let’s talk about your vision. We’ll explore where you’re at, where you want to go, and how much support you need to get there — whether we work together online or in person.

✨ Spots are limited, so if your King is calling, this is the perfect time to answer.

[Book Your Free Discovery Call]

Xx

Danica Lani

The King Coach

About Danica Lani, The King Coach

Hey you 👋 I’m Danica Lani—also known as The King Coach. I’ve mentored 144 first-time Drag Kings since 2020, and I’m here to say: if you’re feeling the pull to explore gender through performance, you’re not alone—and you’re not too late.

Whether you’re new to this world or quietly dreaming of stepping into your masculine side on stage, there’s space for you here.

✨ Ready to name your King? Download Step Into Your King—a free guide to choosing your Drag King name.

💫 Want to see what’s possible? Explore Kings of Joy and discover the queer community bringing masculine expression to life with joy, power, and heart.

📸 Sarah Malone. The Kings of Joy Gold Stars - Sage Presence, Boye Sivan, Good Jobbo, George Engorge.