Completion: How to Make Peace with Your YearDec 22, 2023
My mission is to empower LGBTQIA+ people to feel good in the body by exploring gender, sexuality and performance so that we can be 100% at home in our own skin. But left to my own devices, you'll find me pottering around the house finding new ways to organise and store things. I am my own Marie Kondo.
Thankfully, I have developed a process along with some kick-ass resources to ensure I fulfill on what is truly important to me and not get too distracted. Allow me to share them with you! Over the last three years, I'm proud to say that I've mentored, choreographed and produced 102 first-time Drag Kings through the Kings of Joy program. This would not have happened if I had been left to my own devices.
If you're looking for a proven method to make peace with your year, then read on as I reveal the steps I've taken this holiday season to powerfully complete my year and get ready for a brand new year ahead!
Step One: Complete the year that has just gone
Find a piece of paper and a pen or open a word doc or note and write down everything that comes to mind about the last year. Include:
* My accomplishments
* Any regrets
* Unwanted baggage
* Anything still haunting me
* What I'm most proud of
The simple act of acknowledging these things, writing them down and setting them aside (you can live there thanks) means you can start your new year with a blank canvas.
Step Two: Create your new year based on what's important to you
On a fresh piece of paper or digitally, draw a mind map of all the areas of your life that are important to you and that you want to focus on. Start by writing your name in the middle of the page. I like to put a love heart around each item I write or you can circle it. Starting anywhere on the page, write the areas of life that are important to you. Link each one back to your name in the middle by connecting it with a line. It's like a lifeline.
Think about areas of life such as specific relationships, work/career, creativity, friendship, spirituality, finances, communication, chosen or originating family, well-being/health, sex, fitness, being social, artistry, community, and making a difference.
Step Three: Drill down.
Give each area a new page and write down what you want to accomplish in that area and the actions to take to get you there. When writing goals, make them SMART goals - specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and tangible. When you write them in the present tense and as if it has already happened, it helps your brain see the pathway to making it happen.
Here's an example of a goal written as a to-do and not in the present tense:
- Start a new community group
Little voice inside your head says, yeah but how? I can't do that, I don't know how to do that. Or, There are already groups out there that exist. No one will want to participate. Let me just check socials... Ooo! There's a unicorn covered in eco-glitter!
Now try this:
- I have launched a new community group and we meet on the first Wednesday of the month.
Brain says something like, ok, so I'm going to need to speak to some people and schedule this in my calendar. What about Katie? She'd be a great person to talk to about this. There are some actions that become obvious to make this goal happen.
Another example is 'do forward planning' (conceptual, a to-do) versus 'I have confronted what's in my calendar for the next 5 weeks.' (Actionable for the brain, in the present tense, like it's already happened.)
Step Four: Design a regular routine that works for you
Do you know the best time for you to do things like eat, sleep, exercise, have sex or even ask for a pay rise? Dr. Michael Breus is a sleep doctor who wrote The Power of When and has identified 4 different sleep chronotypes. I am a Lion and an early riser. Like everything, try it out and see if it works for you. You can take his quiz to find out which sleep chronotype you are, then read the book for the exact blueprint for your ideal day.
Once you have this framework for your essential human needs, look for the best times to take action to fulfil on the areas you said were important.
Step Five: Implement it in micro-movements
I tend to get obsessed about certain projects and want them to be all done by yesterday. Don't do this. Start exactly where you are with what you already have and do a step at a time. Or one per day - or week. A good place to start is to get profoundly related to reality and how long things actually take. If you're anything like me, you think a quick vacuum in the lounge room can be done just before leaving the house to catch the bus. No.
This is where tracking your time is super helpful. On a piece of paper or in a note, write down the start time of the activity you're doing and then the finish time. Not only does this assist in learning how long things actually take, but I also find I'm way more focused and productive when timing myself. I get less distracted because I actually want to know how long that task took me. I'm curious. Maybe you could get curious too.
Step Six: Get support
One of my favourite mentors is the international best-selling author of My Brilliant Year workbooks, Leonie Dawson (she/they). They are a kindred spirit. A self-confessed swear bear, proudly neurodivergent, unapologetically herself, self-made multi-millionaire and with more fun and creativity than you can poke a stick at. Plus they make me laugh so hard.
Leonie's My Brilliant Year workbooks are a great way to create your new year easily, affordably and powerfully. They have been going for 15 years and are super popular with over 500,000+ people (including me) eagerly anticipating them each year. Click here to find out more.
I love these workbooks. Let me know how you go, let's powerfully complete the year together and get ready for a kickass 2024.
P.S. I’m proud to be an affiliate partner of Leonie Dawson. If you invest in Leonie's work in the future, I may receive a commission but at no extra cost to you. Their My Brilliant Year Workbooks are a great place to start. Click here to download now.
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