Back to Blog

Beyond the Physical: Can Intimacy be Spiritual?

queer tantra Jul 27, 2023

In the deep and diverse tapestry of human existence, the journey to embrace one's authentic self can be a profound and transformative experience. For queer people, this path can be particularly powerful, as it intertwines gender, sexuality, and the desire to experience being truly connected.

Discussing any topics related to intimacy can sometimes be triggering so read with care and self-regulation. 

In this article, we will explore the concept of whether intimacy can transcend the physical realm and be a spiritual practice, using the principles of tantra as our guide.

Redefining Intimacy

In the context of tantric principles, intimacy goes beyond the confines of physical touch. It is about creating a deep connection with ourselves, our partners, and the universe as a whole. For queer people, embracing the spiritual aspect of intimacy can be particularly empowering. By recognising that our experiences are valid and deserving of a sacred space, we foster an environment of self-acceptance and love.

The Dance of Energy

In tantra, the human body is seen as an intricate dance of energies. You could consider that each one of us carries a unique energetic blueprint that merges with our partners in moments of intimacy. This energetic exchange transcends the physical plane, allowing us to connect on a profound level, beyond the physical act itself. For queer people, this understanding can be especially liberating, as it validates the diversity and uniqueness of our energetic connections.

Queer Tantra: Embracing Authenticity

Queer tantra teaches us to celebrate and honour our identities fully. It encourages us to shed societal expectations and embrace our true selves without shame or judgment. When we embrace our authenticity in moments of intimacy, we tap into a profound sense of spirituality. This spiritual connection arises from the alignment of our physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects, empowering us to live our best lives.

Transcending Queer Bed Death

For some queer people, the concept of "queer bed death" can be distressing. It refers to a perceived decline in sexual activity within long-term queer or same sex relationships. Tantra offers a fresh perspective on this topic as well as practical tools to powerfully deal with this challenging situation. Instead of viewing "queer bed death" as an inevitable outcome, we can approach intimacy as an ever-evolving and transformative journey.

Tantric principles teach us to remain present and mindful during intimate moments. By letting go of expectations and embracing the connection with our partners, we create a space where intimacy thrives. This shift in mindset allows us to navigate challenges in our intimate lives with grace and understanding.

The Spiritual Benefits of Tantric Intimacy

Through queer tantra, we open ourselves up to a myriad of spiritual benefits. By recognising the divine within us and our partners, we break down the barriers that separate us from the sacred and each other. This heightened sense of spirituality can lead to feelings of inner peace, acceptance, and a deeper connection with the universe. A sense of belonging wherever we are.

In the exploration of whether intimacy can be spiritual, tantra provides us with a profound framework. For queer people, embracing tantric principles can be a powerful tool in living fulfilling lives as sexual beings. By transcending the physical realm and connecting with our partners on an energetic and spiritual level, we discover the true power of intimacy.

As we navigate the complexities of our identities and the challenges that may arise within our relationships, let’s remember that the journey to self-discovery and spiritual growth is a sacred one. By embracing our authenticity and living with intention, we create a space where love, intimacy, and spirituality intertwine, empowering us to be 100% at home in our own skin.


Danica Lani

P.S If you like this conversation, you’ll love the #1 problem that keeps queer, lesbian and non-binary couples from having a fulfilling sex life. Download your free gift now.


Hey there! ๐ŸŒˆ I'm Danica Lani, your empowering guide on a journey of self-discovery and liberation within the LGBTQIA+ community. ๐ŸŒนโœจ With over two decades of yoga practice and a decade of teaching experience, I've led transformative workshops on queer tantra for hundreds of queer-identifying women, non-binary, and trans individuals since 2014. My mission is to empower you to disappear bed death, be 100% at home in your own skin, and enjoy long, juicy, and fulfilling lives together. Join me on this journey of practicing tantra within a queer context and embracing our authentic selves! ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’– #QueerTantra #EmpoweringLove #LGBTQIACommunity

Get me in your inbox!

Inspiration and love letters delivered right to your inbox. 

No spam. I will never sell your information, for any reason.