Winging It vs Nailing It: The Choice Every Drag King Faces

There's a moment on stage that no one wants to feel.

Your adrenaline spikes. The spotlight hits. And suddenly your brain goes blank.

What am I doing?
What comes next?
Why can't I remember the lyrics?!

This is the cold sweat of winging it.

And if you've ever been there — heart racing, smiling through the panic, hoping muscle memory will kick in even though you didn't build it — you know exactly what I'm talking about.

What Winging It Actually Feels Like

Winging it means stepping on stage underprepared, hoping your charisma and costume will carry you through.

But underneath the smile is quiet panic:

• You haven't memorised the lyrics — not in your body, not even in your mouth
• The choreography isn't in your muscle memory yet
• You're guessing, not expressing
• You're performing from the neck up, not your whole self

You get through the number. The crowd cheers. Your fellow Kings say, "You looked amazing!"

But you know the truth.

I didn't do my best.

And now you're left with that heavy, familiar feeling: self-judgment instead of pride.

What Nailing It Feels Like

Now picture this instead.

You walk on stage and your body already knows what to do.

You've rehearsed enough that the lyrics land effortlessly. Your movements are second nature. You're not thinking — you're embodying.

Your Drag King persona is alive. You're fully present. And when the music stops, you're buzzing.

Not because you were perfect.

Because you were prepared.

That's the difference.

And here's the best part: you don't need to be "a dancer" or "a singer" to nail it. You just need to rehearse smartly, consistently, and with the right kind of support.

What Is Muscle Memory, Really?

Muscle memory isn't some mystical talent reserved for professionals.

It's the result of repeating the same movements again and again — until your body recognises the choreography like an old friend.

Think of it as your future self's best friend. When the nerves kick in on show night, it's your muscle memory that carries you through.

So if you're only half-remembering the steps, or relying on the person next to you to stay in time, you're putting your performance — and your confidence — at risk.

How to Stop Winging It and Start Nailing It

If you're ready to shift from survival mode to full presence, here's how:

1. Know Your Song Inside Out

Listen until you can hear every beat, breath, and break. Then sing it — out loud, repeatedly, until it's yours.

2. Break Down the Choreography

Rehearse small sections until each one lives in your body. Practice in front of a mirror. Then film yourself and refine what you see.

3. Rehearse in Full Costume

Don't wait until show night to discover your vest restricts your arms or your shoes slip. Rehearsing in full outfit (and makeup if you can) helps your brain integrate the full experience — and builds real confidence.

4. Schedule Rehearsals with Your Crew

Make it social, make it fun — but make it happen. Whether it's a living room run-through or a session at Pride Hall, group rehearsal sharpens the whole routine and keeps you accountable.

5. Ask for Real Feedback

Not just compliments. Ask your crew: "Where do I look unsure?" or "What's missing?"

Growth comes from reflection, not just applause.

Why This Matters

You didn't join Kings of Joy to be just okay.

You're here to express something real. To own your identity. To be seen — not just in glitter and swagger, but in your commitment to becoming the performer you want to be.

Winging it will always leave you doubting yourself.

But nailing it? That's the moment you walk off stage knowing:

"I gave it everything. And I'm proud of what I just did."

Let's create more of those moments.

Xx
Danica Lani
The King Coach

About Danica Lani, The King Coach

Hey you 👋

I'm Danica Lani — also known as The King Coach. I've mentored 147 first-time Drag Kings since 2020, and I'm here to say: if you're feeling the pull to explore gender through performance, you're not alone — and you're not too late.

Whether you're new to this world or quietly dreaming of stepping into your masculine side on stage, there's space for you here.

✨ Ready to name your King? Download Step Into Your King— a free guide to choosing your Drag King name.
💫 Want to see what's possible? Explore Kings of Joy and discover the queer community bringing masculine expression to life with joy, power, and heart.

📸 Sarah Malone.