How to Become a Drag King: A Step-by-Step Guide for Queer Beginners
Aug 22, 2025For the curious, the cautious, and the quietly bold
Discovering Your Inner King Starts Here
You’ve seen Drag Kings take the stage—dripping in masculinity and fully self-expressed—and something inside you whispered, I want that. Or maybe it was louder: That could be me.
And then the doubt creeps in. But how? Where do I even begin? What if I mess it up?
If you’re feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or low-key terrified… you’re in exactly the right place.
This guide is for you—curious, queer, and maybe a little nervous. You’ve never done anything like this before, but something awakens when you think about masculine expression. Whether you’re still lip-syncing in the bathroom mirror or only dreaming about it late at night, you belong here.
Let’s walk through this, step by step—with warmth, clarity, and a little bit of playfulness.
What Is a Drag King?
A Drag King is someone—often, but not only, AFAB—who explores masculinity through performance. That might look like lip-syncing in a suit, embodying swagger in a pair of snap pants, or simply becoming someone bold, expressive, and magnetic under stage lights.
Being a Drag King isn’t about “being a man.” It’s about playing with gender. It’s about taking up space in a new way. And it’s about reclaiming joy, power, and visibility on your terms.
“With the support of a group (my bros) and the guidance of our incredible Drag King Mother (Danica Lani), I overcome a lot of fears around my gender expression.” - Boy Michael, Kings of Joy participant
Step 1: Choose Your Drag King Name
This is the spark—the moment you start to meet your King.
Your Drag King name is more than a label. It’s a doorway. A spell. A declaration.
It can be funny, punny, poetic, suave, sexy, soft, sharp—or all of the above.
What matters is that you like it. That it makes you smile, smirk, or blush just a little.
Need inspiration? Check out:
๐ Step Into Your King: Choosing a Drag King Name That Fits
Step 2: Meet Your Persona
Who is your King? What energy do they bring into a room?
Maybe they’re cheeky and flirtatious, the kind who’ll wink from the stage.
Maybe they’re slow-burning, mysterious, and magnetic.
Here are some questions to explore:
- What kind of music do they perform to?
- How do they move through space?
- What would they wear to impress someone?
- Where do they get their confidence from?
You don’t need to know all the answers yet. Just play. Try it on.
The persona is often just a more unapologetic version of you.
Step 3: Put Together a Look
Start with what you’ve got. Masculine expression isn’t about expensive costumes—it’s about how something feels on your body.
Your outfit might include:
- A button-up shirt with sleeves rolled
- A pair of trousers that sit low on your hips
- A snapback or fedora
- A vest or blazer from an op shop
- Tearaway pants (yes please!)
Your look will evolve. Let it.
๐ Want more help on what to wear as a Drag King? Read: Drag King Costuming for Total Beginners: You Don’t Need to Sew a Thing
Step 4: Explore Drag King Makeup
If makeup intimidates you, you are not alone.
Many Kings start with no experience at all. The key is to begin simple and be open to experimenting. You don’t need to look “realistic.” You just need to feel powerful.
Here’s the basic flow:
- Highlight your features with a light cream stick.
- Contour your cheeks, jaw, and temples for structure.
- Add eyebrows—thicker, straighter, more defined.
- Try a stippled beard or moustache.
- Use powder to set, blend, and finish.
โจ Pro tip: Check your look by taking a selfie. What reads in the mirror might change under a stage light. Read: Drag King Makeup 101: Where Do I Even Start?
Step 5: Find Your Crew
You don’t have to figure this out on your own.
In fact, I’d argue you shouldn’t.
Find people who get it—who will cheer you on, share their makeup, and remind you that you’re not too much, or not enough. That you’re exactly right.
๐ That’s what Kings of Joy is all about.
We’ve mentored over 144 first-time Drag Kings through their debut performance. Some had never danced before. Some were terrified of wearing makeup. All of them did something brave—and beautiful.
“I wasn't sure if I would ever get to find a creative community like this however, this experience surpassed my wildest expectations.” - Jim Junkie
Find a place where you don’t have to just fit in, you can belong at Kings of Joy.
Step 6: Say Yes to Your First Performance
Scared? Perfect.
Your first performance isn’t about being polished. It’s about saying yes to trying something new. It’s about letting yourself be seen. It’s about the joy of taking up space on your terms.
At Kings of Joy, we take care of you. You get a group performance, support with choreography, and a coach (hi ๐) in your corner. You’ll be uplifted, celebrated, and cheered by a crowd that gets it.
"Initially, I was hesitant to join Kings of Joy as I'm camera/stage shy; however, Danica created a safe space for us to explore our inner kingly sides. There's been a lot of growth in my journey of self-love because of this experience and the realisation that my inner King is far from shy.” - Phallixander the Great
You’re Closer Than You Think
You already have everything you need.
If you’re feeling the pull, if your body lights up at the thought of stepping on stage—follow that.
Here’s what I want you to remember:
- You don’t need to “look” a certain way.
- You don’t need to be certain before you begin.
- You’re allowed to take up space.
- You are not alone in this.
So, take a breath. Try the next step. Let your King speak.
Ready to Keep Exploring?
๐ซ Start with our free guide: Step Into Your King—a bold, fun worksheet to help you choose your Drag King name.
๐ Check out Kings of Joy and meet the queer community bringing masculine expression to life through performance, play, and joy.
Or… just reflect. Let the idea of your King start to grow in you.
You don’t have to be ready.
You just have to be willing.
You’re not alone in this. You’re part of a growing wave of Kings discovering what it feels like to be fully seen.
If this article lit a spark—keep going. You’re ready. And I’m right here with you.
Xx
Danica Lani
The King Coach
About Danica Lani, The King Coach
Hey you ๐ I’m Danica Lani—also known as The King Coach. I’ve mentored 144+ first-time Drag Kings since 2020, and I’m here to say: if you’re feeling the pull to explore gender through performance, you’re not alone—and you’re not too late.
Whether you’re new to this world or quietly dreaming of stepping into your masculine side on stage, there’s space for you here.
โจ Ready to name your King? Download Step Into Your King—a free guide to choosing your Drag King name.
๐ซ Want to see what’s possible? Explore Kings of Joy and discover the queer community bringing masculine expression to life with joy, power, and heart.
