How to Get Clear on Your Drag King Goals for 2026: A Simple 2-Step Process

If you've been dreaming about becoming a Drag King but don't know where to start - or you've already performed and want to focus your creative energy in 2026 - this simple exercise will help.

I came back from the UK with something I didn't pack in my suitcase: stunning clarity.

Not the kind you get from a motivational quote or a New Year's resolution list. The kind that lands in your body and whispers, "This is what matters. Everything else can go."

Here's what happened.

After three weeks away from my usual queer community and support structures, I came home knowing something had to change.

I'd been trying to build everything at once. Multiple projects. Multiple visions. Multiple dreams running side by side.

And here's what I realised: it wasn't about doing too much. I'm not afraid of hard work or long hours or what other people think is "too much."

It was about arrogance.

A little voice had been whispering to me, "Maybe other people can't build multiple things at once, but you'll be the exception."

And that arrogance was keeping me from going all in on the thing I care about most: building a community where Drag Kings can belong.

So I sat down with a blank piece of paper and asked myself two questions:

What am I going to stop doing in 2026?
What am I going to start or continue doing in 2026?

That's it. Two columns. Two questions.

But the clarity that came from this simple process? Life-changing.

And it works just as well whether you're curious about exploring Drag King performance for the first time, or you're an emerging performer figuring out what's next in your Drag King journey.

Let me show you how it works.

The Simple Stop/Start Exercise for Drag Kings

Grab a piece of paper. (Yes, actual paper. There's something about writing by hand that makes this real.)

Draw a line down the middle.

On the top left, write: STOP
On the top right, write: START/CONTINUE

Now, write down everything that comes to mind.

Don't overthink it. Don't judge it. Just let it flow.

Here's what mine looked like:

STOP

• Trying to build multiple things at once
• Saying yes to opportunities that don't align with Kings of Joy
• Forcing myself to be productive when my body needs rest (hello, endo flares)
• Dimming my light to make others comfortable
• Apologising for taking up space
• Comparing my journey to anyone else's

START/CONTINUE

• Building Kings of Joy as a global community
• Connecting Drag Kings across the world
• Showing up authentically, even when it's messy
• Honouring my body's rhythms and needs
• Celebrating progress over perfection
• Making the world rounder, one King at a time

What This Clarity Exercise Revealed About My Drag King Work

When I looked at those two columns, something crystallised.

I realised I'd been trying to do too much. Saying yes to things that pulled me away from what I truly care about.

And what I truly care about is you.

The aspiring Drag King who's been watching from the sidelines, wondering if this could be for you.

The emerging Drag King performer who's found your people and wants to keep growing, creating, belonging.

The community we're building together - where you don't have to try and fit in. You can simply belong.

(That's what Gold Stars is all about - giving first-time Drag Kings a place to start.)

How Aspiring Drag Kings Can Use This Exercise

If you're new to Drag King performance, this exercise can help you get clear on:

What to STOP:

• Waiting for permission to explore your masculinity
• Worrying you'll "get it wrong"
• Comparing yourself to experienced performers
• Letting fear keep you on the sidelines
• Thinking you need to have it all figured out before you start

What to START/CONTINUE:

• Learning about Drag King makeup and styling
• Exploring what kind of King you want to be
• Following Drag Kings who inspire you
• Joining a supportive Drag King community
• Taking that first step (even if it's scary)

How Emerging Drag King Performers Can Use This Exercise

If you've already performed as a Drag King and want to grow your artistry in 2026:

What to STOP:

• Comparing your drag journey to others'
• Performing only to please others
• Neglecting the joy in favour of perfection
• Isolating yourself from your King community
• Thinking you need to go pro to be "good enough"

What to START/CONTINUE:

• Developing your unique Drag King persona
• Collaborating with other Kings
• Performing with intention and joy
• Exploring new performance styles
• Celebrating your progress

Your Turn: Get Clear on Your Drag King Journey

This process isn't about perfection. It's about clarity.

It's about knowing what deserves your energy as a Drag King and what's been holding you back.

It's about choosing to be the creator of your life instead of being at the whim of it.

So here's what I want you to do:

Grab that piece of paper. Draw that line.

Ask yourself:

• What am I ready to stop doing in my Drag King journey in 2026?
• What do I want to start or continue doing as a Drag King in 2026?

Write it all down. The big things. The small things. The scary things.

Then sit with it.

Notice what comes up. Notice what feels true.

This simple exercise can help you move from overwhelm to focus. From scattered to intentional. From trying to do everything to doing what actually matters in your drag.

What This Means for Kings of Joy in 2026

For me, this clarity means I'm going all in on building the Drag King community.

I'm stopping trying to build multiple things at once.

I'm focusing on what lights me up: mentoring Drag Kings, building community, and creating spaces where you can explore gender through performance, break free from constraints around self-expression, and have the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

(Even if some of them come off. 🙂)

If you've been thinking about becoming a Drag King - or you've already started performing and want to keep growing - this is your year.

2026 is the year we take it by the crown jewels and have a good time doing it.

Every Day We Have a Choice

Will I be a leaf in the wind?
Or will I be the wind?

You get to choose.

And whatever you choose, I hope you choose with clarity. With intention. With joy.

Let's create life together.

👑

Xx

Danica Lani

The King Coach

About Danica Lani, The King Coach

Hey you 👋 I’m Danica Lani—also known as The King Coach. I’ve mentored 150 first-time Drag Kings since 2020, and I’m here to say: if you’re feeling the pull to explore gender through performance, you’re not alone—and you’re not too late.

Whether you’re new to this world or quietly dreaming of stepping into your masculine side on stage, there’s space for you here.

✨ Ready to name your King? Download Step Into Your King—a free guide to choosing your Drag King name.

💫 Want to see what’s possible? Explore Kings of Joy and discover the queer community bringing masculine expression to life with joy, power, and heart.

📸 Sarah Malone.