The Kings of Joy Show — Episode 2 (Season 1 Archive) Guest: Rory aka J Star
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Danica: Welcome everyone. My name is Danica. I'm the King Coach, also known as Daddy Joy and the Mother of Drag Kings, and welcome to this podcast, episode number two or three — we'll see where it lands.
Today we're joined by Rory, aka J Star. Hello.
Rory aka J Star: Hi. If you ever see me out and about, call me either. I'll respond.
Danica: Fabulous. The foreman, is it?
Rory aka J Star: I am the tool first and foremost. But I'm also the foreman. J Star. I'm the site supervisor and, you know, the leader of the boys. I tell the boys on site what to do and where to do it and how to do it.
Danica: Well, a bit of a triple threat there I see. Wow. Awesome. So tell us, J Star, Rory slash J Star, J Star slash Rory — who are you?
Rory aka J Star: Well, in case you don't know, I'm a dad. And my son, when I'm dressed like this, he calls me Rory Star. So I'm Rory Star at the moment because I'm half-half. This is me out of Drag.
I have the most gender euphoria when I'm in men's workwear. I used to work doing labour, manual labour jobs. So men's workwear is where it's at for me and I love it. Basically, Rory J Star is Rory, but with moustache.
Danica: Yeah. Tell us about the extra Drag bits that you put on.
Rory aka J Star: Well, I'm missing my signature black cap for one — that's in the wash. It had a really rough weekend and really needed a wash. Normally I'm rocking my signature black hat that everyone sees me whack on. And I'll normally have my moustache, my very, very black moustache and very black eyebrows and my very chiselled-in features.
And normally I'm donning — well, sometimes I wear clothes and then sometimes I don't. But the rest of the time I've normally got a really great dad bod six-pack, also drawn on, down my body. Normally ends up getting smeared across my body with whipped cream or the like.
Danica: Oh wow. That sounds fascinating. I hear that's got a special term.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah, it's called the Human Sundae. It gets messy, it gets sticky. It's a great act. It's fantastic. The cleanup afterwards though, I wish I had more boys on site to help with that.
Danica: Oh, asking for volunteers.
Rory aka J Star: Well, I've had people offer to lick me clean before and I'm like, I don't know if that's COVID safe.
Danica: Yeah, that's right. Safety first.
Rory aka J Star: Safety first. Safe first. Yeah.
Danica: Awesome. Well, tell us, Rory J Star, tell us about your journey with Kings of Joy.
Rory aka J Star: My journey with Kings of Joy, believe it or not, started like a year ago only. It's only a year ago. But yeah, I went to Queers of Joy, like end of April, I would say. My partner had been wanting me to go to every show before that and I'd missed out and finally was able to go and was just wowed by it.
I saw Zaddy B Cool's group - they were phenomenal - and I was like, I really want to do that. And my friend that I was there with said, "Well, if you do it, I'll be in the front row." And then I had a conversation briefly with your partner, Chris, afterwards, and then Chris on Instagram was like, "Well, what's stopping you? Go do it."
And I was like, fuck it. Do it. Excuse my French, but I was like, do it.
My son loves Drag and asked if there was something that was the opposite to Drag Queens. I was like, "Yeah, there's Drag Kings." And he said, "Well, why don't you do it?" And that was the push that made me do it and sign up. And I squealed with delight when I got a message saying that I was in the next round. Squealed like a little girl. It was very funny.
And yeah, I was super fortunate to be a part of the group that was impacted by the lockdown last year because it meant we didn't get to perform. Our group had six months of catchups on Zoom every week and had group therapy sessions every week. It was great. I mean, sorry Danica, we were rehearsing really hard for months on end.
And then when we finally hit the stage, it was just like — it's the most liberating, insane, fun experience I'd ever had. I've been on stage before and did acting and theatre as a teenager. And then, you know, secret squirrel business just between me and you Danica —
Danica: Yeah, yeah.
Rory aka J Star: I spent like nearly 15 years in the sex industry. So I'm quite performative, putting on an act. Just a very different sort of act. I've just put a narrative on it.
And I was like, well, if I can do that naked, surely I can get on stage as a man.
But yeah, it was just like the most insane, liberating experience I'd ever done and I wish I could go back and do it again. Go back and do that first night again. It'd be great.
And then straight after my first group show, I did my first solo show like three days later at my mate Jim Junkie's birthday bash last year at Kings Cross Hotel. Yeah, that was so much fun. Whipped that routine out of nowhere and did a thing.
And then came back this year ready to rock and roll and smash some more gigs. And that is what I have done.
Danica: You absolutely have done that. You've been absolutely inspiring to the whole community in how you've gotten gig after gig after gig and gone for it and just been showing up. So can you tell us a bit about what's your secret? What's your secret about getting gigs?
Rory aka J Star: And there's no secret recipe to it, unfortunately. I wish I could give like a super secret away. I turned around and asked some other performers and Drag Queens how they first started out and how they got their gigs, just on a night out. I was like, "Oh, I'm a Drag King and blah blah blah, do you have any advice?"
And their advice was exactly the same advice I give out: show up to your favourite events. Show up to the places where you want to perform on stage. Try and make connections with other artists. And then slide into DMs. Do a little self-promotion. No one's going to do it for you. You've got to back yourself.
And I have slid into way too many DMs for my liking. I'm not one to do that, but I have.
Danica: I mean, J Star slides into DMs all the time.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah, exactly. I was gonna say J Star has no problem with that.
Yeah, no. Reach out to the events that you really love and reach out to the nights or the venues, the promoters of places where you want to perform and put yourself out there. Have a little blurb written up about yourself — what you bring to the stage, why you want to perform at that venue in particular — and just, what's the worst that's gonna happen? They'll read it and not respond. Or they'll read it, like it, and say, "Sorry, we're booked for the next couple shows, but we'll keep you in mind."
I've been doing that since December last year. And there are multiple gigs that I've done recently where they were like, "Yeah sure, but we're booked for the next month, but we'll keep you in mind." And then if someone happens to get sick or have COVID or can't show up, then you're in the back of their mind.
And just social media is a really great tool in this day and age. So keep liking people's posts, share posts, support your other artists. It feels really good as a performer when people like and comment on my stuff or tell me that they enjoyed my performance and comment and that sort of thing. So I just think if that's how it makes me feel, that's how I want to make the performers around me feel.
So do the things. Do the supporting, do the networking. That's the best advice I can give: just show up. Go to the places where you want to perform. Get your face seen and known, make the connections, and then follow it up with the DM slide. Slide in there.
Danica: Love it. Beautiful advice. That's gorgeous. And so you were talking about social media. You already had your social media account on Instagram, your personal one, and then you started the J Star account.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah, it's @jstarr_ with a double R. If you just type in J Star underscore it'll come up. Just self-promotion. See, it works.
So I had my own personal account that I post a variety of randomness to — everything from chronic health, mental illness, stupid memes, you name it. Photos of my son, just life stuff. And then I was like, well, I already do that. I'll follow Danica's advice. Start a J Star account.
And at first had very little on it, but thank gosh for the Queers of Joy community. And then suddenly I had a bunch of followers. And then I was like, okay, well I don't have much to put on it. I have one show. I better just put some Drag on, take some photos so I've got something else to put on it.
And then I was pretty lazy on it for a fair while. Didn't really put much on there for a bit. And then I was like, no, actually I think I need to actually focus on making content or putting posts up, or at least stories, to stay relevant and so that people feel like there's something they can engage with.
So all the Kings out there, you might not like social media, but social media is what's gonna get you the gigs and get your name known amongst the queer community and the performing community. So do the social media.
Danica: Yeah, and you've made some beautiful connections with people both on social media and also at these live gigs that you've been doing. Can you tell us a bit about some of your super fans?
Rory aka J Star: Oh, my J Star fans. They give me life. My audiences — I say my audiences like I own them, like they're there just for me, like no one else. It's not like they're there for a dance floor or a show or anything. It's just for me.
They're incredible. I've got fans that not only travel up and down the coast now to come see me, but I have fans that will pull me aside after a performance and just be like, "That was incredible. You were so great."
Or weirdly enough, cis het men really love J Star. I don't know if it's because I'm trade, but they're like, "You do it so well. You just do it so well." And it's great. I absolutely love that cis het men love J Star as much as J Star loves cis het men. It's great. It goes both ways.
But then I've received — just over the weekend I received some really beautiful messages after performing on The Drag Kings show. One of the fans had found my social media as J Star and then crossed over to my personal social media and read through some of my personal posts about dealing with chronic health issues.
So I have chronic health issues and chronic pain and an invisible disability that affects basically every bit of connective tissue and joint in my body. They read through a bunch of my posts and then reached out to me just to tell me how inspirational that was and that because of that night, two out of the three self-proclaimed poofs in the front row are now looking at doing Drag.
And that is incredible. Yeah. Drag has been — the reach of Drag and of J Star, I think there's this intersection of J Star between Drag queer community and cis het community that somehow works, right? Cis het men are like, "You're a tradie and you're taking the piss out of us, but you're doing it really well and it's funny" and they love it. And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, "What do you base it off?" I'm like, "Well, to be honest, my ex-boyfriends. To be honest, I looked at J Star and I was like, who would I be if I was a man? Every cis het man I've ever dated in my past, all rolled into one." And that's J Star.
And it has this reach that I never expected. I adore it and it fills me with so much joy and happiness, but I just never thought it would reach as far as it does.
Recently I sent my videos to a man in his sixties that I met during the bushfires in 2020 in a small country town. I was down there helping, and he's like, "What have you been up to? What have you been doing?" And I was like, "Well, actually, I've been doing this." And he was just like, "Oh my god, it was so entertaining. Oh, I love it. It's great." And then a few days later messaged me again being like, "I can't stop watching them. It's so funny. You are so good." And I was like, okay.
And this is a man that's never been exposed to Drag in any way, shape, or form, or really the queer community in any way. And he was just like, "Yeah, this is fantastic. I love it." And I'm like, it is me doing a striptease as a man, covering myself in food. Alright. Whatever floats your boat.
Danica: Yeah. Maybe he's not so cishet after all.
Rory aka J Star: Yes, yes. People can be surprising in that way.
Yeah. It's been really beautiful to get messages from other people that have chronic health problems or deal with chronic pain or have an invisible disability or even a visible disability, to be able to have that interaction with them as well for them to go, "Oh, well, that means so much that you are still doing it despite, you know, the reasons not to."
Yeah. And that's been really beautiful. I love my fans so much for that. I spend way too much time watching videos and looking at photographs, but it's not of me, it's of the fans' reactions. It's of the audiences cheering and having a good time and of their reactions because I walk away from it just filled right up by everyone's screams and cheers and support and their little moments afterwards where they interact with me.
Danica: Yeah, so great. And some of the videos that I've seen, there's a real kind of Magic Mike-esque kind of vibe in which people are just screaming for. It's been amazing to see that impact.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah, I have no shame in saying I'm the self-professed King of hyping the crowd because I will make my crowd scream for me. And if they don't, I won't take my clothes off. Really. The cheers — I'm making them cheer for me. I'm like, "Come on!"
Yeah, it is. It's been a lot of fun. I've been going through this process of reclaiming songs that I used to use in the sex industry and putting the — flipping the narrative on them and then redoing them. I'm like, I've done this a million times before and stripped down to a birthday suit. Now I'm doing it as a male tradie with drawn-on abs and taped-down arms.
And it's just been the most fun, liberating experience. I always laugh though every single time I'm doing it because I specifically remember being like, explore feminine masculine movements and masculine movements on stage. And I'm there like circling hips. But you do circle hips so well.
Danica: I know, the Magic Mike kind of —
Rory aka J Star: Yeah, yeah. Love it. It's, it works. It's hilarious. I think I'm doing it and I'm just having the best time. It's so much fun for me. Half the time I forget that I am supposed to be lip syncing and performing, but I've been enjoying exploring that and taking a break from lip syncing and playing on that and being like, I'm just gonna have a drink in between. I went back to what I was doing. But yeah, it's definitely got a Magic Mike tradie striptease vibe to it.
Danica: Yeah. It's been so fun to see you go for it and develop that. It's been awesome. And J Star is very likeable. He's just a very likeable person. Somehow it's like he is like a mate, you know?
Rory aka J Star: Well, yeah, I mean I laugh and I make jokes about J Star being based off, very strongly off one of my exes, who has the nickname like Angry Matty J. And he was very, and I'm like, habitually busy and always in a hurry and like, "Oh, gotta get off shift. Blah blah blah." He laughs when I do this impression of him to him. He thinks J Star is hilarious and in fact gave me my J Star construction hat to wear on stage.
But even so, he was such a likeable character and those were the qualities I wanted to pull from. All of the inspiration — what about my dad is so likeable that people love him? And what about my best friends and my exes? What did I like about them? What do I want to bring to the stage that would make me scream and be like, "Take it off"?
Danica: That's so great because in Kings of Joy we talk about toxic masculinity and not actually bringing that to the stage. We deal with that in life already. We don't need to see it represented on stage. That's where we kind of come from. So that's a beautiful way to talk about taking the parts of these masculine expressions from people that you know, but the likeable bits.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah, it's been really fun. But I've come to sort of realise, like when I was first doing J Star's sort of character background, I took it as who would I be if I was born a man? And I think I would very much so be a lot like my dad. Very stereotypical Finnish Sámi man. And probably drink a lot too much and probably be a carpenter or a tradie anyways, because that's what a lot of Finnish men do. Certainly in my family.
And I was like, you know what? And it sort of made me step back and look at all of the cis het men I used to date and I was like, did I actually want to date them or did I just want to be them? No, I think I just wanted to be them. And I was like, yeah, alright. Yeah.
And then sort of pulled the bits out of them that I really liked and that was J Star. But what I've started to realise a lot is that J Star is just — here's J Star, here's Rory or Aurora. Some people know me by my real name, Aurora. So there's the two and then J Star is just the hyper — like the ADHD hyper version of Aurora — but is allowed to be like, like, it's the unfiltered version of Rory that doesn't need to hold back because I'm quite like that anyways.
I think the only — I love J Star and I love that he's like all the time.
Danica: [laughs]
Rory aka J Star: I do laugh quite often though and say to everyone close to me like, "God, I wish I hadn't have made such a high-energy Drag persona because it's exhausting." I'll get off stage and be like, "Oh." And then everyone's like, "Oh my god!" And I'm like...
What a workout. But it's fantastic. I love that it has that sort of approachable commonality to it that everyone just feels they can walk up and go, "Oi mate," at me. And people literally will just walk past and go, "Oi mate." I'm like, "Oi," back at them. And that's the joy of Drag. That's the joy of what I get to experience as J Star all the time.
Even if I've got a resting bitch face under J Star's makeup, I still look approachable. Yes. That works.
Danica: Yeah. Amazing. And I'm thinking back to the first Kings of Joy group that you were in, the Kings of Joy Five, and you had a special relationship there with another tradie in the group. Night Shift.
Rory aka J Star: Oh, it's my bloody Night Shift. My little buddy, Night Shift.
Yeah. Well, we don't talk about our relation — no. This joke has been going on so long and it's fantastic. The character bonding between myself and Night Shift has been so much fun. The characters just bounce off each other.
Night Shift is my little buddy on site who just — he is always super jazzed to be there. He's just really excited to be where he is and it's fantastic. And he wears a black cap like me and hangs out with me all the time. In the office. On site. In the office. You know.
Danica: Yeah.
Rory aka J Star: [laughs]
Danica: Pretty clearly he looks up to you.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah, well, definitely looks up to me.
[laughs]
Jokes just happen themselves.
Very straight-presenting men that are both kind of secretly a little not straight. The jokes are there. And I mean, it's lived experience, really. I'm a straight woman. I can do the thing.
So it's quite a fun relationship on stage. It's a lot of joking and mucking around and just like, "Oh mate," like these sort of ones. It's so much fun.
But, you know, then I also — well, I'm gonna claim credit for this. It was not my idea, but we did turn another Kings of Joy group performance into a bunch of J Stars and Night Shifts. Pretty much everybody put on the tradie Drag, right?
Danica: Yeah.
Rory aka J Star: I just was like, "Let me just get my bag out and I'll give you all some hi-vis to wear." Hand it out. Hand it out. That's great.
Yeah, we've had — we did that. We sort of reworked it because we had a couple original members that couldn't perform and then we had one standing from the group after us jump in. Kaiser. And they learned our choreography — choreography that we spent six months learning — they learned it in a week. Yes.
And it made us all realise that we really didn't learn our choreography as good as we thought we did over six months. We were like, did Kaiser learn it in a week? Oh wow. The things we do.
Danica: Yes.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah. But it was so much fun. We hijacked your choreography and changed it around a little bit to make it work and put everyone in hi-vis and had a bunch of tradies doing our performance and it was great. It was really good.
And I think too, just to go back to Night Shift, I think there are still some requests out there for a duet at some point with J Star and Night Shift.
Danica: Well, if me and my buddy Night Shift — we do talk about this fairly often about how we need to do a duo act and get on stage together. Because all the boys on site say we should. We're pretty natural together. Our chemistry between each other — it's really natural the way that we get along and we're so in tune with each other's movements and body. It's almost like we know each other intimately. But we don't. Because there's like no homo. We're not gay or anything. But we're really close. Really close. Bros. Bros. Yeah. Just a couple of bros hanging out on site after hours, you know, with the office door locked. But we're just playing cards. There's nothing... But right.
That homoeroticism underlying is just so great to play with. It really is. It's so much fun. As soon as Night Shift and J Star are in — we'll be having serious conversations before or after performances and then just look at each other and be like, [mimics joking around]. It just is. And it's been like that since the beginning. And it's quite entertaining.
Myself and Night Shift were both at, before we signed up to Kings of Joy, we were both at the same Sydney Drag Kings party and it was construction themed and we both donned construction wear to go to this Drag party. We both had that like, "Yeah," moment. We're both like, "Yeah, this is it." Yeah. And that's just been it from the get-go.
Night Shift is doing their thing. But we're in talks about it. If we can organise our schedules to make it happen —
Danica: Yeah.
Rory aka J Star: — hundred percent make it happen. I've got a couple friends that are performers and on TV and stuff like that, and they're like, "You honestly, you could book out every RSL and Workers Club in New South Wales between the two of you." And I was like, that's a good idea.
Danica: Yes. Brilliant. Do the raffles or the bingo at the Workers Club in Blacktown or something.
Rory aka J Star: Totally. Love that. Amazing.
Danica: So what are your — what would be your advice for any aspiring Drag Kings out there?
Rory aka J Star: Do it. Start now. Don't wait another day. I wish I had started sooner, but everything happens when it is supposed to happen as it is supposed to happen.
If you even have the slightest desire, reach out to Danica and put your name down for Kings of Joy. It is life-changing. It was a pivotal, life-changing time for me. Community and group and just the whole thing was — I'm still a year later processing that I even put my name down. Wow. That I really did that.
But just start playing around. There's plenty of stuff on YouTube, on social media. Just search Drag Kings and see what pops up. Start playing around with makeup. Start walking with a step in your step like a man or, you know, start walking like you're packing something bigger than you already do or don't.
Yes. Just start exploring. Start doing the things. Start thinking about what your Drag persona would be and what you would like to bring to the stage and give it a go. There's plenty of opportunities for Drag King-ing, certainly in Sydney at the moment. There's plenty of opportunities for performers to get on stage and have a go.
There's some really great performance nights in Newtown especially. That's Entertainment on a Wednesday, and the Lip Sync Heroes on a Sunday. That's like, you know, it's an institution. Everyone knows these places. And just get up on stage and give it a go. Really just back yourself. Get on stage, give it a try. If you're scared to do it on your own, then reach out to Danica and sign up for the next Kings of Joy, and then you'll have a group — how many Drag Kings now?
Danica: Oh gosh. The community's at about almost 50, I think. We're nearly at 50 Drag Kings.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah. And you'll have 50 Drag Kings backing you and the Mother of All Kings right here backing you. And then the whole Queers of Joy community just cheering you on. It's definitely — consider doing it. As a 33-year-old — I mean 44-year-old dad — it was amazing. I can't speak highly enough of it. And I owe J Star to Danica. J Star wouldn't be J Star without you, Danica. You changed my life.
I was working a nine to — well, a ten till six job — and doing the normal straight thing, working for a local council.
Danica: That's fitting, right?
Rory aka J Star: That's fitting, yes. Was working as a worker and was doing a real job and then was like, that's it. I'm a Drag King now.
But it's been really cool to do. Definitely if you're thinking about it, just do it. Do it. And then if you're still uncertain and need some support or backing, feel free to reach out to me or to any of the Kings of Joy community. We're very supportive and willing to give people time and energy and advice. So yeah, here if anyone needs advice or a soundboard.
Danica: Thank you. And how — where should people contact you on Instagram again?
Rory aka J Star: On Instagram, it's @jstarr_ with a double R, so literally double R. And yeah, if you just type in J Star, it comes up really pretty quick and smart.
And you can follow me on there. I'm sorry, I don't have a Facebook for J Star because I'm not that tech savvy.
Danica: Fair.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah. And then other than that, you can — I've got a couple events coming up, a couple gigs. They're coming out everywhere. I'm sure this will — I've got a gig on Saturday at Queer Do. But what date? This is the 30th, so I'm sure this blog will be out after that. Saturday 30th.
What else have you got coming up?
And then I've got Queer Out Loud in Newcastle on the 13th of May. So that's a bit exciting and there will be some Human Sundae action there. I actually created the Human Sundae for Newcastle Fringe Festival. So it's exciting to take the Human Sundae back up to Newcastle, back to where it was made for, and give it to the queer crowd up there again. So I'm looking forward to it.
I've got some of my J Star groupies coming and they're like, "We're gonna get shirts!" [laughs] Much. We're gonna.
Danica: Love it. Next level groupie action there, and I'm here for it. Love it. That's awesome.
Well, thank you J Star and Rory. And yeah, I will say that the Kings of Joy has become such an incredible six-week transformational process for people. For people who like myself who've done Drag for years, it often has taken us years to get to our Drag King name, or really get some kind of clear backstory.
And in six weeks, you end up with your Drag King name, a backstory, your costume, your makeup. You end up with this thing that you can run with, which is what you've done. And you've done such an inspiring job for all of us in the community to see you out there and expressing yourself, getting J Star out there, making a difference to other people, being a demonstration of what's possible. So inspiring. So thank you so much.
Rory aka J Star: You make me blush. I'm not good at taking compliments. I can take them as J Star because I'm just like, "Oh, thanks mate." But Rory's still learning how to do that, so my cheeks are very red. Thank you.
Sometimes you have to breathe just to let that shit in. So gotta breathe and let it in.
Yeah. So grateful for that. You and Chris and the Queers of Joy community. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing right now if it weren't for you guys. I owe it all to — wow — the KOJ and the QOJ. We love you. My mum. My Drag Mum.
Danica: We love you and yeah, we're totally here lifting you up, supporting you the whole way.
Rory aka J Star: I mean, thanks.
Danica: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. Thank you for being here today and we look forward to seeing you on stage, hopefully soon.
Rory aka J Star: Yeah.
