Archives

Tagged ‘inquiry‘
Being satisfied

Being satisfied

What if being satisfied in relationship was by declaration?  Werner invites us to try on – either we’re declaring ourselves satisfied in relationship or we’re committed to being dissatisfied in relationship. How can we tell? Just take a look at the laundry list of things we want to change about our relationships or we think is missing in or relationships. In giving that all away, the declaration “I am satisfied” gives an access to bliss. Such sweet bliss.

Love

Danica

When Art is present

When Art is present

I have tears rolling down my cheeks, sitting face to face with my dear friend jazi after our shared birthday together. The words of acknowledgement have poured from me to her and now she is pouring words back to me. I get to be who I am because she is in my life and she gets to be who she is because I am in her life. She says something about all of my talents and skills and suddenly my internal dialogue pipes up, like it has something important to say.

 

Yeah, all of those talents you have that will go to your grave with you.

 

I catch it like a sharp edged object and examine it in my palm. What is that about?

 

Suddenly I realise what’s been in the way of sharing my talents. I’ve been waiting for someone to come along and tell me how to make money from my art. Before I share it. I remember, if it’s about the money, it’s not it. And I don’t need to make money from my art to live. I’ve designed my life that way.

What if I could be free to simply share my art for the sake of having art expressed in the world? I mean, that’s the kind of world I want to live in – a world where art is present. As a gift to the world.

In love with Christine & the Queens

In love with Christine & the Queens

I wonder if being an artist means being true to oneself, being so authentically and wholly oneself that when art is expressed it is as an expression of Self.

Christine gathered her Queens from the stages of drag, dedicating many of her creations to them and to all transgender individuals.

Could the presence of art arise inside of community and what would that look like?

Thank you Kimberlite for introducing me to my newest artist love affair!

Love

Danica

A mother’s love

A mother’s love

What is it about being in the presence of your mother’s love? There’s nothing like it. The calm, the warmth, the sense of security, being cushioned and cocooned, the quiet gentle support.

My mum was my perfect support partner today before during and after the surgery. And I got her all to myself!

I’m so grateful to be in my mother’s presence.

Last time I had this surgery in Jan I had kept it hidden, I was doing it on my own and was isolated. This time I built support and had so much love sent to me from all over the world. Thank you. I love you. And thank you Mum for being the best Mum in the world.

Love
Danica

Control or surrender?

Control or surrender?

Today I realised I’m a control freak – again! I was speaking with my mentor, Marjie in the US and I discovered a propensity to be very controlled about my circumstances. I’m in control a lot of the time. In fact, I’ve designed my life to be a certain way and manage my environment to be a certain way. However there are some circumstances in life where I actually don’t have control. I can’t control my girlfriend for example – anyone else ever tried to control their partner’s behaviour? I also can’t control the surgery I’m having tomorrow. My life will literally be in other people’s hands. And that’s their job – to wholly and completely take care of me.  Talk about an opportunity to surrender. It helps that I trust my surgeon and my anaesthetist. In Tantra, trust is what allows us to open and surrender further and further. I actually love surrendering – those moments when you can let go completely and give yourself over in the hands of another, or even the universe. And so today I surrender.

Notes on failure

Notes on failure

I’m frustrated. I want to record this song for my beloved and I’m not practiced enough yet. It’s not a perfectionism thing, it’s literally the familiarity with the pathways for my voice and fingers on the guitar. I don’t have it down yet. This is not my first attempt.

Someone said to me recently, what if failure was simply falling short? Yeah but if failure was simply just falling short, what about my story and drama? Well, let’s see if we can set aside the story and drama for a moment and look at failure as simply falling short. I had a commitment to accomplish this thing and I fell short. I guess I could just get up again and discover what happens when I keep going…?

Where have you fallen short recently and could keep going, if only for the wonder of discovering what might happen?

Chocolate or Vanilla

Chocolate or Vanilla

Have you ever gone on a miracle walk? A miracle walk has one purpose – to go walking and be open to miracles. It’s quite extraordinary what can open up. Of course the first step is to actually go walking. You don’t get the same miracles if you don’t go on the walk.

My dearest friend jazi was on one of these walks today. In Noosa. Well actually, pretty much all of her life is one big miracle walk. That’s just how she rolls. Here’s one of the miracles that showed up today after her car broke down amongst the luxurious beauty of Queensland. She did what any self -respecting woman would do in her situation. After taking care of business, she homes in on the nearest organic café. Not only did they have Co-Yo ice cream, they had two flavours. Chocolate or Vanilla. How often does life give you but one choice – the bank balance you have, the physical symptoms you have, the body you have right now, the family you have. In this instance, the universe serves up my friend with two choices: Chocolate or Vanilla. Choose. And you know what she said:

So of course, I chose both.

I love living in an AND world and discovering where you really can have it all.

Love

Danica

Raw gourmet handmade with love chocolate by jazi

Heart Break

Heart Break

Mostly we go through life doing our best to avoid heartbreak. And yet it happens. Our hearts get broken over and over again. And it’s not only in intimate relationships. It might be in losing a job or accountability at work, or someone dying or a project falling short.

Perhaps there are times when our hearts have been broken and we’ve been able to bounce back – with the support of those around us or the security and depth of our spiritual connection. Then there are some times in life where we seem to get our hearts broken over and over and over, in a series of events. Smash, smash, smash. How do we heal our hearts then?

Some people say it takes time. But every transformation happens in a heartbeat. In a moment…. Do we need time? Does healing heartbreak, especially a series of them, happen over time?

How do we shift from carer to lover?

How do we shift from carer to lover?

Over the years, during periods of ill health, I’ve been fortunate enough to have had many women who have cared for me. [Thank you!! You know who you are.] And there have been times when I’ve been a carer to my partner. When a partner steps into a caring role, our attention and energy goes into tending to those practicalities that assist with healing – making food, taking care of household tasks, massage, making more food – chicken soup, have you taken your medication/vitamins? Being supportive and emotionally available.  Listening to vivid descriptions of symptoms, theories of self-diagnosis and oftentimes listening to complaining and whining. Some of us even worry about our partner’s health. Worry doesn’t make much of a difference – it can be a useful motivator at times, but it also comes with it’s own cost to our wellbeing.

After going through days or weeks of being the carer, what’s left when the care is no longer intensively needed? Habits of care? Do you find yourself now organised around caring for your partner? Your thinking and actions are now orientated that way? Do you ever notice what happens to your sexuality, to your sexual energy? When your partner is not well, it’s not always the time for raucous lovemaking. In fact, most of us restrain ourselves and set aside our desire when caring for our beloved.

Declaring a period of care complete goes a long way in being free to shift from carer to lover. I start with acknowledgement. Thank you for caring for me so beautifully and meticulously. You did a great job of taking care of me – thank you. There may even be some things to acknowledge that were challenging or painful. Thank you for not making me wrong even when I was at my most whiny or my most down and dark moments. Or simple things like, thank you so much for that chicken soup you made – it was magic for my bones.

It’s a simple declaration – thanks for the great job you did, and your work here is done. And here’s where sexuality comes in. Once we have shifted to a resting phase (see the work of Jaiya for more words on ‘resting’ – the kindest distinctions around sexuality I’ve come across), it often feels like our sexuality has become dormant. Maybe we feel shut down, cut off or numb? Physically and energetically. It’s like our sexual energy has gone to sleep. Guess what? It has! You’ve been in a resting phase.

In an ideal world, what’s your favourite way to wake up? Many of us wake up to the sudden interruption of an alarm to which our internal dialogue says, press snooze. But just imagine it’s your day off, there’s nowhere you need to be, how do you like to wake up? Sexuality can be like that also.  It’s needs some warming up, some gentle reawakening. It’s alive, and always there – it never goes away, and yet it can be dormant. Start with a gentle massage, and quite possibly some coconut oil…

By the way, for those of you who are now curious, interested or intrigued, I’ll be facilitating a Tantra is Love workshop on Yoni Massage at the 2016 7 Sisters festival.

Lost & Found?

Lost & Found?

After 4 days of severe pain, I have officially lost my sense of humour. If anyone has some spare lying around, please send it my way.

On a serious note, the connection between humour, laughter and healing has been espoused by many. It’s probably the first thing I forget when dealing with pain. Today, I remembered. And I remembered long enough to do something about it. Flashback warning – welcome to the mid 90s…

The first episode of Ellen the show cracks me up – who else has ever had a terrible photo taken for their drivers licence or passport (dammit! Those suckers last for ten years!)?

Indulge me and yourself  – Ellen makes me laugh.