Control or surrender?

Today I realised I’m a control freak – again! I was speaking with my mentor, Marjie in the US and I discovered a propensity to be very controlled about my circumstances. I’m in control a lot of the time. In fact, I’ve designed my life to be a certain way and manage my environment to be a certain way. However there are some circumstances in life where I actually don’t have control. I can’t control my girlfriend for example – anyone else ever tried to control their partner’s behaviour? I also can’t control the surgery I’m having tomorrow. My life will literally be in other people’s hands. And that’s their job – to wholly and completely take care of me.  Talk about an opportunity to surrender. It helps that I trust my surgeon and my anaesthetist. In Tantra, trust is what allows us to open and surrender further and further. I actually love surrendering – those moments when you can let go completely and give yourself over in the hands of another, or even the universe. And so today I surrender.