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I’m in the clear!

I’m in the clear!

Do you ever not allow yourself to get excited until you’re sure that thing you want is happening? It’s been 2 weeks since the surgery and every day I’m feeling better and better. Today I saw my surgeon and it looks like I’m in the clear. I’ll need to monitor my cycle over the next few months but we think the removal of the fibroid has done the trick! The excitement comes from the real possibility, the future that my quality of life has just been dramatically improved. Watch out world…

 

Love,

Danica

When Art is present

When Art is present

I have tears rolling down my cheeks, sitting face to face with my dear friend jazi after our shared birthday together. The words of acknowledgement have poured from me to her and now she is pouring words back to me. I get to be who I am because she is in my life and she gets to be who she is because I am in her life. She says something about all of my talents and skills and suddenly my internal dialogue pipes up, like it has something important to say.

 

Yeah, all of those talents you have that will go to your grave with you.

 

I catch it like a sharp edged object and examine it in my palm. What is that about?

 

Suddenly I realise what’s been in the way of sharing my talents. I’ve been waiting for someone to come along and tell me how to make money from my art. Before I share it. I remember, if it’s about the money, it’s not it. And I don’t need to make money from my art to live. I’ve designed my life that way.

What if I could be free to simply share my art for the sake of having art expressed in the world? I mean, that’s the kind of world I want to live in – a world where art is present. As a gift to the world.

In love with Christine & the Queens

In love with Christine & the Queens

I wonder if being an artist means being true to oneself, being so authentically and wholly oneself that when art is expressed it is as an expression of Self.

Christine gathered her Queens from the stages of drag, dedicating many of her creations to them and to all transgender individuals.

Could the presence of art arise inside of community and what would that look like?

Thank you Kimberlite for introducing me to my newest artist love affair!

Love

Danica

Raw Chocolate Blissful Reunion

Raw Chocolate Blissful Reunion

Featuring me, raw chocolate and jazi

My first chocolate after 1.5 years of no chocolate or cacao of any kind. #lifeaftersurgery

One of my Tantra teachers recommended that I not eat chocolate or cacao as it’s a stimulant and could have been contributing to the heavy bleeding I was experiencing. Frankly, I was willing to try anything.

A mother’s love

A mother’s love

What is it about being in the presence of your mother’s love? There’s nothing like it. The calm, the warmth, the sense of security, being cushioned and cocooned, the quiet gentle support.

My mum was my perfect support partner today before during and after the surgery. And I got her all to myself!

I’m so grateful to be in my mother’s presence.

Last time I had this surgery in Jan I had kept it hidden, I was doing it on my own and was isolated. This time I built support and had so much love sent to me from all over the world. Thank you. I love you. And thank you Mum for being the best Mum in the world.

Love
Danica

Control or surrender?

Control or surrender?

Today I realised I’m a control freak – again! I was speaking with my mentor, Marjie in the US and I discovered a propensity to be very controlled about my circumstances. I’m in control a lot of the time. In fact, I’ve designed my life to be a certain way and manage my environment to be a certain way. However there are some circumstances in life where I actually don’t have control. I can’t control my girlfriend for example – anyone else ever tried to control their partner’s behaviour? I also can’t control the surgery I’m having tomorrow. My life will literally be in other people’s hands. And that’s their job – to wholly and completely take care of me.  Talk about an opportunity to surrender. It helps that I trust my surgeon and my anaesthetist. In Tantra, trust is what allows us to open and surrender further and further. I actually love surrendering – those moments when you can let go completely and give yourself over in the hands of another, or even the universe. And so today I surrender.

Notes on failure

Notes on failure

I’m frustrated. I want to record this song for my beloved and I’m not practiced enough yet. It’s not a perfectionism thing, it’s literally the familiarity with the pathways for my voice and fingers on the guitar. I don’t have it down yet. This is not my first attempt.

Someone said to me recently, what if failure was simply falling short? Yeah but if failure was simply just falling short, what about my story and drama? Well, let’s see if we can set aside the story and drama for a moment and look at failure as simply falling short. I had a commitment to accomplish this thing and I fell short. I guess I could just get up again and discover what happens when I keep going…?

Where have you fallen short recently and could keep going, if only for the wonder of discovering what might happen?

Do you crave connectedness?

Do you crave connectedness?

I was talking with a new friend in Sydney recently. She acknowledged me for my openness when we first met. She said it was so refreshing to meet someone who she could connect with straight away (not like all those constrained Sydney people magnetised around looking good!)

Connectedness is what we crave. I wonder if ultimately it’s a fundamental want – that human beings want to experience being connected, and we mostly don’t. Or perhaps we do in moments. And, that mostly, we don’t have the access to getting what’s in the way, out of the way.

I love the movie Into the Wild, not only because of the haunting parallels to my own life, but also for the poignancy of the message – as Christopher adjusts to living in the wilderness, he finally gets that, in his words, “Happiness is only real when it’s shared.”

I loved living by myself in the bush. Surrounded by National Park on a stretch of river. When I think of those 3.5 years though, my fondest memories are actually those times with the friends and lovers who stayed or lived there. It’s almost like those times by myself, take more effort to make stick in my memory. I imagine those will be the moments, those moments of connectedness that I’ll remember on my death bed. Those experiences that will make up the rich tapestry of my life – when I was connected, present and completely real with another human being.

Love

Danica

Body Party

Body Party

I first met Luke Wilkie on the set of the Australian television series, Offspring. We were both hired as dancers from the Body Electric crew to dance in a club called “Tuff Muff“ (I kid you not) behind Deborah Mailman (**in awe**), Asher Keddie and cast. (Spot the leopard print dress!) I love falling in love with people on the dance floor.

A while later I discovered that Luke had a skill set and impressive library, not only as a much loved and followed instagrammer, but in music production. He did a remix of one of the songs off my debut ep micromovements and our collaboration has been growing. We essentially create electro-pop music that makes you move. We’ve created a couple of original tracks, some covers and have performed at a few underground warehouse parties in Melbourne. We are called Body Party. I look forward to sharing more of our journey with you…

Body Party walk 281012

Love

Danica

Teaser

Teaser

I’m in the mood for teasing. On my last trip to Melbourne, I met up with a photographer friend, Garth Ernstzen. Two years ago he started making a jacket that he’d asked me to model. Being someone who likes to create multiple intentions and fulfil on multiple outcomes, I asked him if he would also be willing to film a new dance routine I’ve been working on. He said yes!

When I first heard this song, it touched my soul immediately. Check out this next sentence: S’ra and I were in our uber and this song came on the radio so I reached for my iphone and shazam’d it then downloaded it straight away onto my itunes. I mean seriously, 10 years ago I would never have said that sentence. I digress.

Do you remember is by Brissie boy, Jarryd James. His voice is so soulful. I immediately wanted to choreograph movement and to create a lyrical style piece to his song. I’m super excited to be viewing the video edits for this at the moment with Garth.

And looking forward to sharing with you…

Love

Danica