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Chocolate or Vanilla

Chocolate or Vanilla

Have you ever gone on a miracle walk? A miracle walk has one purpose – to go walking and be open to miracles. It’s quite extraordinary what can open up. Of course the first step is to actually go walking. You don’t get the same miracles if you don’t go on the walk.

My dearest friend jazi was on one of these walks today. In Noosa. Well actually, pretty much all of her life is one big miracle walk. That’s just how she rolls. Here’s one of the miracles that showed up today after her car broke down amongst the luxurious beauty of Queensland. She did what any self -respecting woman would do in her situation. After taking care of business, she homes in on the nearest organic café. Not only did they have Co-Yo ice cream, they had two flavours. Chocolate or Vanilla. How often does life give you but one choice – the bank balance you have, the physical symptoms you have, the body you have right now, the family you have. In this instance, the universe serves up my friend with two choices: Chocolate or Vanilla. Choose. And you know what she said:

So of course, I chose both.

I love living in an AND world and discovering where you really can have it all.

Love

Danica

Raw gourmet handmade with love chocolate by jazi

Heart Break

Heart Break

Mostly we go through life doing our best to avoid heartbreak. And yet it happens. Our hearts get broken over and over again. And it’s not only in intimate relationships. It might be in losing a job or accountability at work, or someone dying or a project falling short.

Perhaps there are times when our hearts have been broken and we’ve been able to bounce back – with the support of those around us or the security and depth of our spiritual connection. Then there are some times in life where we seem to get our hearts broken over and over and over, in a series of events. Smash, smash, smash. How do we heal our hearts then?

Some people say it takes time. But every transformation happens in a heartbeat. In a moment…. Do we need time? Does healing heartbreak, especially a series of them, happen over time?

Return to Self

Return to Self

Even the Black Eyed Peas  are telling me to meditate.

“ Madness is what you demonstrate

And that’s exactly how anger works and operates

Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight

Take control of your mind and meditate

Let your soul gravitate to the love, y’all, y’all”

So I sit for 20 minutes in my return to sitting practice. It’s not meditation, it’s simply return to sitting – noticing what takes me away from being present. I took on this practice from the Summer Intensive Wisdom Course Leader training.

Then the Peace Angels cross my path again today. They have just returned from Salt Lake City on a tour to the Parliament of the Worlds Religions. People from all over the world and all religions were moved by their presence. Being in their presence really is a profoundly moving experience.

How do we shift from carer to lover?

How do we shift from carer to lover?

Over the years, during periods of ill health, I’ve been fortunate enough to have had many women who have cared for me. [Thank you!! You know who you are.] And there have been times when I’ve been a carer to my partner. When a partner steps into a caring role, our attention and energy goes into tending to those practicalities that assist with healing – making food, taking care of household tasks, massage, making more food – chicken soup, have you taken your medication/vitamins? Being supportive and emotionally available.  Listening to vivid descriptions of symptoms, theories of self-diagnosis and oftentimes listening to complaining and whining. Some of us even worry about our partner’s health. Worry doesn’t make much of a difference – it can be a useful motivator at times, but it also comes with it’s own cost to our wellbeing.

After going through days or weeks of being the carer, what’s left when the care is no longer intensively needed? Habits of care? Do you find yourself now organised around caring for your partner? Your thinking and actions are now orientated that way? Do you ever notice what happens to your sexuality, to your sexual energy? When your partner is not well, it’s not always the time for raucous lovemaking. In fact, most of us restrain ourselves and set aside our desire when caring for our beloved.

Declaring a period of care complete goes a long way in being free to shift from carer to lover. I start with acknowledgement. Thank you for caring for me so beautifully and meticulously. You did a great job of taking care of me – thank you. There may even be some things to acknowledge that were challenging or painful. Thank you for not making me wrong even when I was at my most whiny or my most down and dark moments. Or simple things like, thank you so much for that chicken soup you made – it was magic for my bones.

It’s a simple declaration – thanks for the great job you did, and your work here is done. And here’s where sexuality comes in. Once we have shifted to a resting phase (see the work of Jaiya for more words on ‘resting’ – the kindest distinctions around sexuality I’ve come across), it often feels like our sexuality has become dormant. Maybe we feel shut down, cut off or numb? Physically and energetically. It’s like our sexual energy has gone to sleep. Guess what? It has! You’ve been in a resting phase.

In an ideal world, what’s your favourite way to wake up? Many of us wake up to the sudden interruption of an alarm to which our internal dialogue says, press snooze. But just imagine it’s your day off, there’s nowhere you need to be, how do you like to wake up? Sexuality can be like that also.  It’s needs some warming up, some gentle reawakening. It’s alive, and always there – it never goes away, and yet it can be dormant. Start with a gentle massage, and quite possibly some coconut oil…

By the way, for those of you who are now curious, interested or intrigued, I’ll be facilitating a Tantra is Love workshop on Yoni Massage at the 2016 7 Sisters festival.

Lost & Found?

Lost & Found?

After 4 days of severe pain, I have officially lost my sense of humour. If anyone has some spare lying around, please send it my way.

On a serious note, the connection between humour, laughter and healing has been espoused by many. It’s probably the first thing I forget when dealing with pain. Today, I remembered. And I remembered long enough to do something about it. Flashback warning – welcome to the mid 90s…

The first episode of Ellen the show cracks me up – who else has ever had a terrible photo taken for their drivers licence or passport (dammit! Those suckers last for ten years!)?

Indulge me and yourself  – Ellen makes me laugh.

Just keep swimming

Just keep swimming

When life gets you down, you know what do you gotta do?

Just keep swimming…

Love

Danica

This too shall pass

This too shall pass

I remember when I first realised that whatever experience of life I was having at the time it too would pass. I might have been cloud watching. That helps. Have you ever watched a cloud disappear? Evaporate right in front of your eyes?

Pain is like that. Pain passes. So does anger, sadness, jealousy and fear. Happiness seems to disappear also. I think I’d rather have permission to feel the full range of human emotions and learn to watch them like clouds rolling in and rolling out. As not me. My mentor Marjie says, wellbeing issues are arbitrary and capricious. She also creates the future for herself of All is Well and I’m happy. I can create that all is well. Happiness, even with the circumstances I’ve got? Well that’s something to develop myself in. Being happy no matter how much pain I’m in seems a stretch right now. However, I’m willing to develop myself and the first place to start is with everywhere where I’m not that.

Where would you be willing to develop yourself in being happy in the face of your circumstances being the way they are?

Love

Danica

 

Collage by Danica Lani

Blue Spring

Blue Spring

When I’m in this much pain, I can’t do very much. Most months it’s been taking me out of the game for 3-4 days. I’m very glad it started after I got home from the Spark Festival. 15 days until surgery. In the meantime, I’ve been playing with my colours. What colours? I got my colours done with stylist, Kaye Ure and I’m a Blue Spring. This means time for a new Pinterest board. Kaye says, think Mediterranean landscapes, citrus fruits, terracotta pots, desert, fresh spring flowers and newly mown green lawns…

 

One last Spark

One last Spark

The Spark Festival was a terrible blow to my ego. I was repeatedly told I’m a genius, I was asked out on a date, I was told I’m an amazing woman and a great teacher and I was told, I like you. And while not everyone at Spark was happy all the time, there was a refreshing directness and honesty in how people communicated. Going in, I knew to expect an adventure, I just didn’t know what that adventure would look like. All sorts of unexpected things happened from a guy in my first workshop deciding he would lead the workshop himself to the woman who refused to participate throughout and then got up and genuinely thanked me at the end. It was a dance to discover how to allow people to be however they were and to have that work for everyone and for the fulfilment of the workshop. I’ve come out exhausted and all used up. And that’s how I like it.

It has been one of those life experiences that nothing anyone could have said beforehand would have impacted the fact that I simply had to experience it for myself. I am a different human being.

Love

Danica

The Spark Finale

The Spark Finale

Here’s a snapshot of the concert from this year’s Spark Festival – for adults with intellectual disabilities to explore what’s possible inside the Arts. After two days of back-to-back workshops, the participants choose a group (or two) to be in to perform in the grand finale concert.

Walking into the auditorium, the grand reveal was behind heavy black curtains – a world of wonder, colour and awe. The space had been transformed as we walked through the hula dancers greeting us and gazed up at stilt walkers in incredible costumes amongst jugglers, trapeze artists and heart sculptures. It really was moving.

And so the concert began – wait until you see the final act by aerial artist, Paul Nunnari, grand final participant in Australia’s Got Talent. This guy will blow your mind.

Love

Danica