A gift to the world

A gift to the world

Today is the anniversary of Alan’s death. I have to admit, today has been a bit of swirl for me. However, 37 years ago today, when Mum was pregnant with me and had 3 kids under the age of 6, Alan died unexpectedly. And while there are some amazing things I inherited from my father – like my hair that naturally quiffs and my eye colour, I was raised by another man, Geoffrey Baker. Not only did he marry my Mum when I was 1 and a half and carry me down the aisle, he took on an instant family – my brother, my two sisters and me. What kind of man does that? A man with a big enough heart. He raised us as his own and got his job done – we all turned out wonderfully. Plus we have the invaluable bonus of a younger sister who also turned out wonderfully. Together we make up the ‘Baker family’.

They say if you are not complete with your parents, you’ll predictably play out the same probable future over and over in your own relationships. I wrote Alan a letter and got to express things I’d never said before – like, how disappointed I was that I never got to look him in the eyes and how mad at him I was that he didn’t bother to stick around and meet me. As if he had a choice!  I had a rocky road with my parents in my early twenties and I’m grateful to say that all of that is now in the past – where it belongs. I only have to think about my Mum or think about my Dad and I’m moved to tears by who they are and how much I love them –and they love me. My family loves me and accepts me as I am and sometimes I forget that. Then I remember and I think, I am so blessed.

I am my father’s legacy and I am also the progeny of those who loved me and raised me. Thank you for my life Mum, Dad and Alan. It took a village.


  • amanda marx on Oct 16, 2015

    such a beautiful story Danica, I loved every word, every sentiment & memory that you expressed so simply & so lovingly …


    • Danica Lani on Oct 16, 2015

      Thank you beautiful one. xx