From mediocrity to satisfaction

From mediocrity to satisfaction

I’ve been performing since I was a little tacker. I started jazz ballet when I was 6 because I was promised sweet biscuits after class if I stayed. That seemed well worth it for me. So I joined in happily waiting for my sweet biscuits – which were delivered.  Isn’t it funny that sugar got me into dance! At some point, after I’d begun classic ballet at 13, I got lazy in dance. Deliberately. I didn’t want to stand out. I couldn’t be with the attention I was getting. I learned that I could show up on stage, and get pretty good results, some positive feedback and that seemed enough. Nothing bad happened.

Years later, as a musician, I could get up on stage and sing, play my guitar and also get an enthusiastic response. The problem was, I was dissatisfied. Why? I knew that I wasn’t putting in 100%. I wasn’t rehearsing or preparing fully, I was flying by the seat of my pants. Cos I could. And yet, I always left knowing that I didn’t give my all.

In entering my first Pole competition, I made a commitment to interrupt the drift of my life, to not do things the way I’d always done them. I made a 7 week rehearsal plan, I booked the studio and I even got brave enough to invite my friend and dance colleague into a rehearsal for feedback. In our conversation, she invited me to move and perform as if I were expressing a love letter to someone. This fitted so beautifully with the journey of exploring my femininity at the time. Interestingly, it was her piece of feedback and the one piece of feedback from my pole teacher to include the spectacular trick you’ll see in the video that made the difference in the competition. Not only did I win a pink sash that says “Miss Fusion Pole 2011” (yes, I still have it thank you very much – alongside my trophy for my first Drag King competition – that’s another story…) but I earned something else that night. Satisfaction. Knowing that I’d planned, prepared, rehearsed and developed this piece and given myself to it…



**photo credit & video by: Tina Modesto